My heart aches

You have taught me O Father that the ways of the heart are deceiving, don't be led by your emotions. So forgive me when this has lead my decisions rather than solid truth. Lead me, According to your ways that I might be a reflection of Jesus. Not a reflection of some "super spiritual or righteous" person, no but a reflection of Jesus. Jesus was humble. Luke 18:19 "Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone." Jesus did not take up his own agenda but was busy doing the agenda of the Father. Matthew 26:42b "My Father if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done." Matthew 11:27 "All things were handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father; neither does anyone know the Father except the Son and the one to whom the Son chooses to reveal him."

When hope dims...I will hold on!

I love Hebrews 11.  It speaks of amazing men and women of God, saints if you will, who held tightly to their convictions even to the death.  They died not seeing the fulfilment, yet fully trusted God to fulfill his promise.

What of all those thousands who died not seeing the birth of the Messiah?  So many examples in Scripture of courageous and faithful men and women who believed, though not seeing, and held on to their convictions to the death. 

I also believe for something special, though I do not see it.  I am holding fast to my convictions in spite of all.  Even though I believe, I wont lie about my temptation to fear.  I choose not to dwell on fears that attack, but to trust that God does know and have perfect timing!  My romantic heart waits patiently for my God, to see his fulfillment of dreams long ago planted in my heart, of things he continues to shape and fashion with love and care.  His grace sustains me, and should I die, I will die believing him. 
Above all,
My heart yearns to be free of this earthly vessel, but when I come to the throne of grace, I do not want to come empty handed.  I want my spirit to be overflowing with the goodness of God, the salvations of tens of thousands, the fruits of love, joy peace patience kindness goodness and self control.

I know that I can never NEVER EVER measure up to this call.  If not for the grace of God, I would never feel peace to die, because I know that death means assured judgment for how much I have fallen short of his glory.  What do I have to offer the King of Kings?  Rather I am as insignificant as dust, and smaller than a white blood cell before him.  Just to be near him, His fragrance will overwhelm me and I imagine swooning and fainting before His Majesty.  He is so kind and so good.

God's love for me is enough.

The story of the living dead

"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life, through Jesus Christ our Lord."
Romans 6:23

       Eternity was within our grasp, but we passed it.

We allowed it to slip through our fingers while we still had a chance.  We followed after our own passions and greed.  We served ourselves but could not save ourselves.  We were led to deeper and deeper depravity, til our eyes were completely blinded from the truth, til our hearts would not soften at the still and constant calling to change.

       Eternity was within our grasp, but we chose death.

We thirsted after wine and parties.  We indulged in every earthly delight.  We starved ourselves from food in order to gain a better image, to gain more status here on earth,to be fuller.  Our emptiness grew stronger.  We heard softly a voice saying, turn to me, I will heal, deliver, I will give you the fullness you long after.

      We ignored it. 

We turned our eyes to another man.  After we had seduced him and he finally proposed.  We thought children would ease our pain.  To have a child would surely fill us.  He left us embittered, realizing that we were selfish and only wanted to fulfill our own lusts through him.

      We hunger and thirst after God, but its too late. 
The dry heat and thirst aches.  We cannot swallow.  We do not see each other, we long for companionship.  We are itchy, we are burning.  We cannot feel anything.  We long to just feel, warmth, air, coolness, joy or even sorrow.  Our bones gnaw against one another, the worms cannot die within us.  It is too late.  Despair is the only definable emotion for our miserable state.
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       Eternity is within your grasp. 
A loving Father paved the way for a relationship with all humankind.  Adopting us into His family and rescuing from the grasp of an abusive and delirious parent, who would only pull us into a pit of suffering, enslaving us in our sins.  Yahshua ha Mashiah willingly laid down his life, becoming a sinless sacrifice, he through his guiltless death, defied death forevermore.  He brought back to life many from their captivity to death.  He brought victory forevermore, but we must believe. 

       We must choose to be in relationship with him. 
He will come back for His Bride, those who have clothed themselves with garments of righteousness, with the clothing of the bridegroom, who have traded chains for truth.  We are freed.  We worship Yahwah.  Adonai has redeemed us.  It is a narrow road, our praises bring the victory.

       Eternity with our without Adonai.  This is your choice. 

The only true light and joy comes in faith.  We must believe on the saving and redeeming work of Jesus Christ... that we may live forever with him.  Without him...eternity will be hell itself.  literally.

You choose.

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We filled our lamps with joy, and our wineskins are overflowing.

What is it like to fall in love?

SO,  ...
What is it like to fall in love?

Is it instant in a moment of bliss? Or is it like a marshmallow, only perfected with patience?

What is it like to fall in love?

Is it all I have dreamed for?  Or is it only a child's fantasy?

What is it like to fall in love?
Does love blow past me continuously? or, is it only slow in arriving, softly on the wind?

What is it like to fall in love?
Is it only like the cheap glimpses found in romance novels or in a chic flic?
Is it ever true, faithful to comittment, empty of low compromises?

What is it like to fall in love?
A cup of coffee, jolting you with energy--yet quickly needing its next fix? or A tablespoon of peanut butter, slowly eaten from a spoon and enjoyed and satisfied at its finish?

What is it like to fall in love?
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Sometimes my heart grows so deep with longing for love.  Not just like a quick fix kind of love or anything. But for children to raise of my own, for someone to grow old with, for a God to pursue and a mission to adventure on with together.
I know that I am still not too old, and I know that God has heard my prayers, but there are times where it is difficult to be patient, to hold on to belief...it can become something that I doubt, whether or not I have heard my dear Father correctly.

I exhort you other girls, young and old, to hold on to your dreams.  Keep everything in your hearts true, keep your eyes on your faith.  He is able to hold you still, even when our hope grows dim.  "He is faithful even when we are faithless," Paul writes in the book of James, and I believe it. 


I'm glad that I have the truest and dearest love that ever matters.  With him I will spend eternal bliss and happiness, and in Him all my dreams come true.  I love Jesus so much.

battle towards purity

Dear girlfriends,  (and other male visitors...)

This is not a blog saying, "I have accomplished..." or stating that "I am pure," rather that together we are in the pursual of purity.  The pursual of a character so refined by God, so full of truth, that the darkness and the enemy of our pursuit disintegrates.

I cannot do this alone, but it is in that very recognition that my Father is honored.  It is our dependance upon Him for everything that makes us become more and more beautiful every day.

One of the battles that I have encountered endlessly in this life is the battlefield in the mind.  Battled by having a continual prayer life

The Mind is a Battle
As 2 Thessalonians 5 says, we are to "pray without ceasing."  This is not a meaningless exercise that the Scriptures are burdening us with or putting as an added thing on the "to do" list, rather it is purposeful so that we are focused on our Rock and Deliverer at all times.
Phillipians 4:8 ... encourages us to take all our concerns and anxieties before God in prayer and to BELIEVE that He will answer.  It says to offer our cares to Him, to simply ask Him to take care of it, and then to thank Him for doing it!   The Messiah is one who the Scriptures teach is close to our suffering, He understands, and it also teaches us to cast all our cares upon Him.  We stumble and fall in this area MOST when we try to work it out in our own minds, or when we worry and fret about something turning it over in our heads, the Bible teaches us that this is SIN.  This too must be removed from our lives, if we want to be pure before God. 

If you need this too, join me in praying this:
Heavenly Father, I surrender to you all that I am worried about. My life, relationships, friends, people who are in pain, family members, the bed ridden, ill, lonely, people who are estranged from you, Lord send your Spirit.  Heal our land.  I surrender it into your hands.  They are not mine.  I am not able, but YOU ARE.  You looked down and saw all that was, all this that is occurring right now, and you said "I AM."  Forgive me and purify my heart.  Direct all of our prayers, let us remember to always come before you with all things, remembering you as our very best friend, and the closest one.  I ask you for your PEACE.   THANK YOU FATHER.  You are Great and Mighty, and the One who sets before us open doors.

Thank you.  Amen.

I only post this very personal prayer in the efforts that you too will benefit from it, and that your prayers will turn to heaven, that you will cultivate a very personal relationship with Jesus Christ, the Yahshua Mashiach, who suffered a common criminal's death and worse, and who conquered death in His ressurection.  He is mighty to save and to all who call upon His name, who cry out to Him for their help and for their healing, HE LONGS to be VERY close to you and He invites you into His kingdom.  He invites us to be in His presence, even today, and will restore us into correct position under His Father in Heaven, to whom belongs all glory honor and praise.

Come Lord Jesus. My King.

Physical touch

Hey all!

Its been a couple of months since I have written, but I wanted to touch for a moment with you on a very important aspect of relationships.

As all of you who know me or have been acquainted with this blog know, I believe that it is in your best interest as a young man or woman to guard carefully your emotions within a relationship.  By now, you know that kissing is an intimate engagement that ideally should be saved for marriage.  Although young people might just look at it as innocent romantic expression or even "fun" within the boundaries of a relationship, it is a part of you that you cannot take back again even if you wanted to.

You may at this point call me ridiculous.  Ok, and that is fine with me if you do.  However, like any thing that you give, remember that you are giving that and along with it, a piece of your heart.

I write today because I came across a letter I wrote to myself, reminding myself in a particular relationship of the boundaries that I needed to create between that male friend and myself.  It was, perhaps, one of the most special relationships I have ever had, and I felt the weight of the responsibility to remain pure.  It was a great friend, whom I had no desire to injure, and although the ending of the story was a sad one, He was perhaps the most gentle of men I have ever dated and a best friend.

That relationship was a good example.  We did have physical expression in our relationship, but it did not exceed anything that I would be ashamed to share.  In no moment, was I treated as less than a princess, and he made sure of that.  We were perfectly able to have romance in our relationship, without unfair caresses being stolen from either individual.

That was a long intro for what I would like to say to you.

I challenge you (and myself) to set your standards higher than before. 
             Re-evaluate the commitments that you have already made and boundaries you have set for yourself and you may discover discrepancies in your previous evaluations.

A goodnight kiss .... WITHOUT a close hug, touching of the hair, caressing of the arms or legs, ... is a clean kiss.  This is a typical gesture of affection that does not extend beyond natural affection you might show a family member when done correctly.

Holding hands ... is a great feeling, great and sweet gesture of a friendship that has moved into a budding and beautiful relationship.  However, I advise you not to move far from here, because it is unnecessary.

Holding...  When you are in a beautiful relationship, these are the things that make it feel "so nice" but ... beware.  An arm around your shoulders is quite different than an arm around your waist... a quick warm embrace . . . is much different than a drawn out embrace.  especially when your feelings for someone are great.
Hugs . . . Is this a hug that honors that personal space that still belongs to the other individual?  How close is too close?  ... This is an important question to ask each other in a relationship and you will know if it is too close because your heat rises and warns you. 

Be respectful and honorable of one another and do not put your boyfriend in a position of compromise.  This can cost you a future friendship with him and can cost you a friendship temporarily with yourself.  To hug can be more dangerous than it seems, if you are not guarding your vulnerability in that embrace.  Guys... treat her the way you would treat a sister.  Girls, space yourself and say no when necessary, carry yourself in an honorable way, not a seductive one.

This is NOT an all inclusive list, but perhaps it will get each of us thinking and re-evaluating a very important part of boundaries.  Being in a relationship can be a lot of fun, but it is also a great responsibility.

Remember that you are children of the greatest King over all, and that makes you princes and princesses.  Act likewise.

With much love.

What do you long for?

Dear Friends,

   I found this piece in my poetry collection, and felt that it was important to share it with you.  These are words for all who long after a pure heart.  "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." Mt. 5:8  

Guidance for her troubled heart

by Joanna, 2009

Grow up...

 
Be the woman that God called her to be

Bear the fruit of the Spirit

Cast her cares upon God

 

Don't worry about tomorrow...
 

Stop repressing

Start expressing

Deal with it properly

Keep on believing

Believe some more

BELIEVE

Don't give up...

Be humble...

  

Be sincere...

Forgive others, that it may be forgiven her...

Forgive herself, that she may find peace and true joy

Live every day without regrets...

Rest...

Remember who she is in Christ (a new creation) and remember His everlasting love for her...

Reach for the stars...

Be a blessing. Serve...give...smile...share...touch...Care

"You saw me thirsty and gave me to drink...naked and clothed me, hungry and you did not turn me away."

Mt. 25:34-36

"Drink from the living water that you may never thirst again." 

Jn 4:13-14

"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, my yoke is easy and my burden is light." 

Mt. 11:29-30

Beloved sisters,  walk in these things and you will be blessed.  The light of God will be with you because you are walking in the footsteps of our Lord and Savior. 


I love you each dearly, and pray that you call upon Him who is able to mend our hearts.