Will the real story please step forward?
How easy it is to get caught up in the false flattery of the world and to get stuck up on some "image." Its either I want to be like that, or I am like this.
Yet outside appearances are so shallow and so easily mistaken. Some become very good at putting on a smile even if they do feel like crap and this is called good "customer service." Some are very good at putting that same smile on their life, and this is called "trying to fit in with everyone else.'" Maybe they don't want to "inconvenience" others with their needs, when it is really pride keeping them from confiding in another. How many times have they confided in you? Yet sometimes it seems the needs are too great... People can only take so much. its true. and while God gave us relationships so that we can be an encouragement to each other and help lift the good out of people and be there for one another. Sometimes it is simply difficult to express such needs to others... the need that they should encourage you. Why, its one thing to be the one encouraging them, and it is good to do so actively, because we thrive from encouragement from one another, but sometimes, its difficult to ask for such encouragement from someone else.
Its truly a good thing to feel good about yourself... It is good to go forward and push ahead and reach for the stars and dreams. And BELIEVE that it will be done.
Sometimes life feels like a masquerade. When I feel down, I definitely don't want to take anyone down in that pit with me, so what happens?
I feel convicted from any people pleasing or falsehood that has corrupted my way. That has caused me to step outside of my limits for the sake of someone else. In this instance that would do them no good. It will not make the person feel good for causing you to step outside of your comfort. I don't know what this is that causes me to alejar from the people who could help me most, but when I am specifically feeling that i am failing in something, and if I need help, I feel instead that my "friends' will judge me, and I have a hard time asking for that help. I know that I can say no and should practice it more. I sometimes feel fine about something, but then go away and feel uneasy in my heart as if I am going beyond what I wanted to do.
I hope and pray that my love for God is not so back and forth. That I do not say to him, yes I will yes I will, while all the while my heart says, wait. stop. no. I do not want such a foolish naive and wimpy indefensive thing.
I know what I practiced as a child, and it had to do with submission. In my childlike understanding, it was important to put the needs of others on a pedestal. I do not know why this happened, but I felt that if I were to be like Christ, and "take up my cross" and follow him, then I would put to death any self will and serve others.
I do not say that I was not still the same little girl who loved to have my daddy's smile and pleasure, and intentionally put myself in a place to receive it. I think I thought that he would love me more if I was the best behaved, if I helped him to take care of the people in the family then it wouldn't be such a big burden for him. I wanted to help. I wanted to serve.
Perhaps in a way, my world was still all about me. Sure, I wanted to serve God with all my heart, and I loved him so much, well, He saved me out of my sins. What was there not to serve. I loved him, and beyond that, I felt his call to ministry on my life.
What if the very devil himself masquerades so well that his face appears like that so beautiful one would not recognize his countenance as evil. How many will he deceive?
I will not be among the deceived who receive his wicked way. For I follow the one and only true God, the great I AM who was is and will be.
This world is not my home and I know that I am an alien here. It has been my greatest comfort since I was young, that I would one day be with you, Yah. It is a beautiful thing.
