Hey all!
Its been a couple of months since I have written, but I wanted to touch for a moment with you on a very important aspect of relationships.
As all of you who know me or have been acquainted with this blog know, I believe that it is in your best interest as a young man or woman to guard carefully your emotions within a relationship. By now, you know that kissing is an intimate engagement that ideally should be saved for marriage. Although young people might just look at it as innocent romantic expression or even "fun" within the boundaries of a relationship, it is a part of you that you cannot take back again even if you wanted to.
You may at this point call me ridiculous. Ok, and that is fine with me if you do. However, like any thing that you give, remember that you are giving that and along with it, a piece of your heart.
I write today because I came across a letter I wrote to myself, reminding myself in a particular relationship of the boundaries that I needed to create between that male friend and myself. It was, perhaps, one of the most special relationships I have ever had, and I felt the weight of the responsibility to remain pure. It was a great friend, whom I had no desire to injure, and although the ending of the story was a sad one, He was perhaps the most gentle of men I have ever dated and a best friend.
That relationship was a good example. We did have physical expression in our relationship, but it did not exceed anything that I would be ashamed to share. In no moment, was I treated as less than a princess, and he made sure of that. We were perfectly able to have romance in our relationship, without unfair caresses being stolen from either individual.
That was a long intro for what I would like to say to you.
I challenge you (and myself) to set your standards higher than before.
Re-evaluate the commitments that you have already made and boundaries you have set for yourself and you may discover discrepancies in your previous evaluations.
A goodnight kiss .... WITHOUT a close hug, touching of the hair, caressing of the arms or legs, ... is a clean kiss. This is a typical gesture of affection that does not extend beyond natural affection you might show a family member when done correctly.
Holding hands ... is a great feeling, great and sweet gesture of a friendship that has moved into a budding and beautiful relationship. However, I advise you not to move far from here, because it is unnecessary.
Holding... When you are in a beautiful relationship, these are the things that make it feel "so nice" but ... beware. An arm around your shoulders is quite different than an arm around your waist... a quick warm embrace . . . is much different than a drawn out embrace. especially when your feelings for someone are great.
Hugs . . . Is this a hug that honors that personal space that still belongs to the other individual? How close is too close? ... This is an important question to ask each other in a relationship and you will know if it is too close because your heat rises and warns you.
Be respectful and honorable of one another and do not put your boyfriend in a position of compromise. This can cost you a future friendship with him and can cost you a friendship temporarily with yourself. To hug can be more dangerous than it seems, if you are not guarding your vulnerability in that embrace. Guys... treat her the way you would treat a sister. Girls, space yourself and say no when necessary, carry yourself in an honorable way, not a seductive one.
This is NOT an all inclusive list, but perhaps it will get each of us thinking and re-evaluating a very important part of boundaries. Being in a relationship can be a lot of fun, but it is also a great responsibility.
Remember that you are children of the greatest King over all, and that makes you princes and princesses. Act likewise.
With much love.
